I went to a psychic today. In a previous post, I'd mentioned that I'd had a reading done on my 30th birthday so, with all the upheaval going on in my life right now, it seemed appropriate to go again now that I've turned 40. At this point, I'm keeping my ears, eyes and heart open to everything so that I can make the most of this journey.
The first thing he said was that something major happened to me 14 or 15 years ago (true). Then he told me that I was going through a similar thing now (true). He told me that it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't have any shame around what happened (I think he thought I had been physically abused - which was/is not true). I did not offer him any information about me, in fact, I didn't even wear my wedding ring because I didn't want to give him any 'tells'.
I had three significant things happen to me fourteen years ago and, now, two of them are happening for the first time since that time - a fact that didn't even occur to me until he brought it up (don't ask, too personal). As he was talking to me about these parallel events, my body felt like it was about to catch on fire - it was seriously freaking me out. The more he talked about it, the more emotional I became, and my eyes began to well up with tears (I haven't had a good cry since - well, I can't even actually remember when I last cried).
He told me to stand up and asked me about the pain in my lower, right abdomen that developed when I was about 18 (actually, I was about 16 when it started). He said that I should get a colonic (been there) and talk to a doctor (done that), but that the ultimate issue is that I have unresolved issues with self-esteem (gee, really?).
He spent a long time looking at my hands and said the reason my hands are red, was because I possessed a strong healing power and that I was meant to heal people (and I thought my hands were red because I'm Irish).
I didn't tell him about my job situation until much later, but he told me that I should have left this job two years ago (my plan in 2000 when I started at Allied was to stay no longer than five years - I even told them that when I interviewed with them). After I told him I had been laid off, he told me that I knew it was coming and didn't do anything to prepare for it (true).
He told me that I have an old would to heal - he saw a huge black hole over my chest. Although the surface had scabbed over, I had not addressed or attempted to heal the issue. He told me that I need to do something physically symbolic - like clean out my closet and donate my old clothes to charity - in order to help move that healing process along.
He talked about my parents. He described my mother perfectly. He described my husband pretty well. He told me I'm going to be a grandmother sooner than I want (nooooo!). He told me that I have something important to learn from my aunt; that she has gone through something similar to what I am going through and that we should take a trip together (she's meeting me in Paris next month).
He asked me who Robert was (my ex-father-in-law). He told me that I liked my ex-father-in-law more than I liked my ex-husband (true). He said a lot more here that was pretty much right on point, but I don't want to stir the pot - know what I mean?
I only told him my first name and date of birth - I didn't give him any other information until the reading was almost over and, even then, it was only that I'd been laid off, the names and ages of my kids and my husband's name.
Then I told him that I have been obsessed with death lately. I'm not sure when I developed this preoccupation, but it's all I think about anymore (not suicide, don't worry). He told me two things that were equally profound and reassuring; 1., there is just a lot of death going on in the world right now and, because I'm empathic, I'm hyper-sensitive to it and, 2., I am going through a significant change in my life and that my old self is dying so that I can have a re-birth. He told me that he doesn't see me actually dying any time soon.
I wondered as I left, 90 minutes later, what I had hoped to learn from the experience - or what was going to help guide me in the right direction as I try to decide where to go and what to do next. Well, I'm now aware of some patterns of behavior that I've exhibited throughout my life that need to be addressed more thoughtfully and that I need to work on healing the pains from my past so that I can move forward more effectively. Oh, and, I guess I'll be cleaning out both my lower intestines and closet, as well.
I'm sure there was more; it sort of comes back to me in pieces. I had planned to go to the museum afterwards, but was so emotionally drained that I just came home and collapsed. In fact, I wasn't going to post today, but decided to share this experience with you because some of you are a very important part of my journey.
-Shannon
PS - I've been a little melancholic the past couple of days (part of the grieving process - you know, the Debbie-Downer phase); I'll try and lighten up a bit in tomorrow's post. xoxo -S.
The first thing he said was that something major happened to me 14 or 15 years ago (true). Then he told me that I was going through a similar thing now (true). He told me that it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't have any shame around what happened (I think he thought I had been physically abused - which was/is not true). I did not offer him any information about me, in fact, I didn't even wear my wedding ring because I didn't want to give him any 'tells'.
I had three significant things happen to me fourteen years ago and, now, two of them are happening for the first time since that time - a fact that didn't even occur to me until he brought it up (don't ask, too personal). As he was talking to me about these parallel events, my body felt like it was about to catch on fire - it was seriously freaking me out. The more he talked about it, the more emotional I became, and my eyes began to well up with tears (I haven't had a good cry since - well, I can't even actually remember when I last cried).
He told me to stand up and asked me about the pain in my lower, right abdomen that developed when I was about 18 (actually, I was about 16 when it started). He said that I should get a colonic (been there) and talk to a doctor (done that), but that the ultimate issue is that I have unresolved issues with self-esteem (gee, really?).
He spent a long time looking at my hands and said the reason my hands are red, was because I possessed a strong healing power and that I was meant to heal people (and I thought my hands were red because I'm Irish).
I didn't tell him about my job situation until much later, but he told me that I should have left this job two years ago (my plan in 2000 when I started at Allied was to stay no longer than five years - I even told them that when I interviewed with them). After I told him I had been laid off, he told me that I knew it was coming and didn't do anything to prepare for it (true).
He told me that I have an old would to heal - he saw a huge black hole over my chest. Although the surface had scabbed over, I had not addressed or attempted to heal the issue. He told me that I need to do something physically symbolic - like clean out my closet and donate my old clothes to charity - in order to help move that healing process along.
He talked about my parents. He described my mother perfectly. He described my husband pretty well. He told me I'm going to be a grandmother sooner than I want (nooooo!). He told me that I have something important to learn from my aunt; that she has gone through something similar to what I am going through and that we should take a trip together (she's meeting me in Paris next month).
He asked me who Robert was (my ex-father-in-law). He told me that I liked my ex-father-in-law more than I liked my ex-husband (true). He said a lot more here that was pretty much right on point, but I don't want to stir the pot - know what I mean?
I only told him my first name and date of birth - I didn't give him any other information until the reading was almost over and, even then, it was only that I'd been laid off, the names and ages of my kids and my husband's name.
Then I told him that I have been obsessed with death lately. I'm not sure when I developed this preoccupation, but it's all I think about anymore (not suicide, don't worry). He told me two things that were equally profound and reassuring; 1., there is just a lot of death going on in the world right now and, because I'm empathic, I'm hyper-sensitive to it and, 2., I am going through a significant change in my life and that my old self is dying so that I can have a re-birth. He told me that he doesn't see me actually dying any time soon.
I wondered as I left, 90 minutes later, what I had hoped to learn from the experience - or what was going to help guide me in the right direction as I try to decide where to go and what to do next. Well, I'm now aware of some patterns of behavior that I've exhibited throughout my life that need to be addressed more thoughtfully and that I need to work on healing the pains from my past so that I can move forward more effectively. Oh, and, I guess I'll be cleaning out both my lower intestines and closet, as well.
I'm sure there was more; it sort of comes back to me in pieces. I had planned to go to the museum afterwards, but was so emotionally drained that I just came home and collapsed. In fact, I wasn't going to post today, but decided to share this experience with you because some of you are a very important part of my journey.
-Shannon
PS - I've been a little melancholic the past couple of days (part of the grieving process - you know, the Debbie-Downer phase); I'll try and lighten up a bit in tomorrow's post. xoxo -S.
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3 comments:
When considering to donate your fabulous closet to charity - can I call "dibs!"?
Cheer up, chum. You're meant for great things. Allied could never appreciate your true potential!
Jaine
Wow, Shannon! So cathartic to read your entry here...
Remember in our class when Maureen mentioned that what a lot of humans have a hard time with is transition?
I felt like I was reading a bio of myself as I read your entry here!
I too have been struggling with many things (health, getting my company up and running...going on 3 years now, family issues, dating issues)And constant (almost obsessive) thoughts about death, which started with me right before 9/11 happened.
AND the funniest thing of all...I went to a psychic/medium almost 1 year ago from today. She told me the same thing about working on my self-esteem!
Anway~keep your head up and forge ahead with your plans! You have so much to offer and I think you are on the right path...your blog is amazing and I can't wait to be one of the first to purchase a copy of your published book. Oh and don't let yourself get TOO down over your thesis! (been there, done that...have already shredded the t-shirt though, because it was UGLY ;)
BTW, totally woke up this morning and thought...you know what? I need to do an annual cleaning of the closet. Your psychic was right, it does help get us through these not so "fresh" moments in our lives. (Besides, who needs that skirt or pair of pants that keeps begging us to lose 10...or 20 more pounds to fit into them!)
And oh yeah, you may want to look at doing some colonics, I have had a couple and they are AMAZING. Weird at first, and ever-so-pricey...but well worth the $$
Love ya lady!
Cecelia
Hi Shannon,
I've only been to a psychic once and it was one of those ones at the beach, on the boardwalk - fakes. I would love to find someone who really has the ability to see and feel like the one you went to. Seems like he knew what he was talking about. How are you feeling now? And I think many people go thorugh phases of obsessing about death. I wouldn't worry about it.
Kisses,
Heather
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