Processing Part V

I've been home a couple of weeks now and new memories of my time in Des Moines continue to bleed through to my consciousness...

"Come here, cutie. They told me I should tell people what they mean to me - that it's important to you all to hear these things."

It's funny the things that go through your mind when someone is telling you something that's either really meaningful or really important (or both). Half my brain was screaming, "REMEMBER THIS MOMENT - IT'S A BIG ONE!" And the other half was trying to hear what's being said.

I haven't thought about what she said that day (5 weeks ago today) until just now.

My grandmother was really not one to give advice or be nosey or intrusive in any way. She really led by example, so these kinds of conversations just didn't happen. Oh wait - she did give me one piece of advice when I was growing up, "Learn how to type. If I hadn't known how to type, I wouldn't have met your Grampa John." Oh - she also told me to go to college so I could find a good husband (she meant well, I'm sure).

And, she also told me to always be the first person to smile when passing someone on the street or meeting someone, "Don't wait for them to smile first, you just go ahead and do it."

Okay - so lots of advice there. The smile thing stuck with me for sure.

Anyway - she wasn't giving me any advice in this particular instance, she was telling me what she'd appreciated about me so that maybe I would have some concrete evidence that I (we) mattered to her while she was alive. This wasn't necessary - we all knew how much she loved and cared about us. There was never even a possibility that that could be questioned. Each one of us thought that we were her favorite and that's how it should feel. She made each of us feel special for our whole lives - there was no need for her to engage in this exercise, but she did anyway.

"I've always appreciated how sweet and kind you've been to me. I can't think of one specific occasion; you've just always been very kind and loving toward me and I've appreciated that very much."

I guess it just proves that you get what you give, "The feeling is mutual, Grammy, thank you for being such a wonderful role-model."